Digital Childhood | Part 1 — Taking the Phone Away Is Not Enough: Who Is Behind the Screen?

When a child quietly looks at a phone in their room, many families feel reassured. The child is at home, within sight, rather than on the street. Yet that child may simultaneously be messaging someone they have never met, being mocked in a class group, or encountering an age-inappropriate video. Being physically beside us does not mean being safe in the digital world.

According to Turkish Statistical Institute data, more than 91 percent of children aged six to fifteen in Türkiye now use the internet. The internet has become inseparable from childhood. The question has therefore moved beyond “Should the child go online?” to “What is the child experiencing online, and how much of it do we know about?”

UNICEF’s work on online child safety identifies risks such as abuse, bullying, harmful content, and misuse of personal data. None can be measured solely by asking “How many hours a day?” One hour of use can be extremely dangerous because of an exchange with the wrong person, while three hours of lessons or play may be harmless.

For a child, a phone is not merely entertainment. It is a place to communicate with friends, do homework, satisfy curiosity, and feel part of a group. Abruptly taking it away often does not solve the problem; it pushes the child toward secret accounts and applications unknown to the family.

“Don’t talk to strangers” is not enough

People with harmful intentions can pretend to be the child’s age, gain trust through a shared game or interest, then try to move the conversation to a more private application. A general warning is therefore insufficient. Concrete examples are needed to explain why sharing photos, a school’s name, location, passwords, and family information can be risky.

Cyberbullying is equally serious. Mockery, exclusion, threats, or a photo shared without permission can profoundly affect a child’s school life and emotional state. Saying “Block them; it will pass” is insufficient. Messages should be preserved as screenshots, the school should be informed, and, above all, the child should receive support without blame.

Rules imposed by a parent who shares every moment of a child’s life on social media or never looks up from a phone at the dinner table carry little credibility. Adults need to demonstrate respect for digital privacy and balanced use at home first.

Communication connects all these points. Children should feel heard in everyday life, not only when a problem arises. A child listened to with interest when describing a funny video is less hesitant to speak up after receiving a disturbing message. But if asking for help means fearing the phone will be taken away, the child may choose to hide everything. Asking at dinner, “Did anything online upset you today?” may be the easiest way to begin that conversation.